Tuesday, September 16, 2014

A New World Record

January 24th 1848 James Marshall discovered Gold In California.  Two years later the first shovel washed ashore in San Francisco.  Rumor has it that some dude once found 3 shovels back in 1875 but that's just folklore.
In 1932 this chick claimed to find 5 shovels during her morning jog.  She was the talk of the town for weeks unfortunately it turned out to be an elaborate hoax by Sears in an attempt to sell Shovels to the emerging S&M crowd in Los Angeles 

It wasn't until the 1950's when the cheap plastic shovel was invented invented.  Fitness guru Jack Lalanne found 7 of them while working out near Muscle Beach.   It was a Record some thought would stand the test of time.

For over 50 years the record had held up!  

The shovel world  needed a new hero!
It turns out that hero would be me.

In the last 5 years I have found thousands of shovels.  On five or six occasions I had found over ten but never more than 12 until yesterday that is.

After a week of  crappy finds.  The answer was simple?
I just needed to run a little farther.

5 hours later
 I had a new world record
16 shovels!
I found a few rakes to but I'm not really a rake kind of guy.  However that 3 legged Octopus is pretty sweet.
 I found me some fancy tweezers a quality rubber band and clip thingy.
 I got me some starts upon thars. 
 Also not pictured I found dolphin and heart bracelet that I gave away to a friend I saw during my run,
 An opened sticky hand!
(that's some good shit)

Time for a few strange finds
 Good thing the creepy heart dude was there to protect bathing suit Bell from the T-rex and Adrian Petterson.
(Maybe I should make a diorama?)
 I wonder if those are  real diamonds?
 3 more lighters.  Is glaucoma contagious?
 I found some balls
and some Cocks  
(the shuttlecocks found 6 miles apart)
 Another bubble wand for the collection
Peas my friends!

The End!

Easter Sunday September 14th Resurrection of the Shovel.

Six weeks away from the beach tapped in the mountains of Colorado. I  was forced to wear a shirt almost everyday (_THE HORROR_), If I wanted to go running I was stuck on a trail (_Ee Gads_) forced to take someone else's path rather than blaze my own.

It was a spectacular trip full of great memories, but at least part of everyday I wished I was running on the beach. As I dreamed of scorching hot sand, salty air, girls and in bikini's I wondered what was gonna happen to all those poor lost shovels left on the beach by negligent children?

I got back home Tuesday afternoon and with in an hour I was barefoot and shirtless running on the beach.  It was good to be home.  I had hoped to find plethora of plastic gold  but unfortunately my worst fear was confirmed?

Every Shovel I came across was broken :( Maybe it was just bad luck? Wednesday I encountered the same thing. On A normal day I find about one intact shovel every other mile.  After running about 20 in two days I had found zero.

It was still great to be home you can't really beat sunny weather and  a cool ocean to swim in.  Hopefully my luck would soon change?

Thursday I ran (No Shovels) Friday I ran (no shovels) Saturday (No shovels) Maybe I could have picked up a few but when the beach is crowded I refrain so I don't accidently steal one from some kid. 5 days of running and all I had found was about 25 busted shovels and a hacky sack.

I was in a funk that even 1,000's of beautiful woman in bikini's couldn't cure. 
 (although they helped and I was thankful for each and everyone.)

Something had to change!

Sunday morning I got bright an early to go for a 3 hour run while the beach was still empty and so I could get home for a 10 a.m. football game.  Sunday and Monday mornings are the most prime time of the week to find a shovel.  If I don't find some today maybe I'll have to find a new place to run.  Hmm?  If I run at the cemetery I'll probably find some pretty flowers.  
(I really hope it wouldn't come to that.)

Man that was long preface for stupid run on the beach.  So without further ado this is what I found.

The first thing I found was  pair of glasses. Maybe they would help me find some shovels?
  Instantly I felt like whatever the opposite of Velma is (Scooby Doo) As soon as I put them on I couldn't see a damn thing.

I found just about every type sea creature other than an octopus
Then I found an octopus
If anyone knows Camile tell her I found her rake

The first shovel I found was not really shovel but it still counts in my book I mean blog.
I've started a collection of bubble wands  because why the hell not.  I
have found about 20 so far.
Each time I find a hair tie I pick it up and give a whirl.  as a barometer to see how long my hair has gotten.
almost there.
Pony tail? more of a "Burro Tail"
Not quite there yet
But speaking of "Burro Tail's"

Did you Know there is a plant called a Burro Tail?
I bet you didn't expect to learn somthing from this blog did you?

I'm losing focus here.
What about the shovels?
You ever watch Deadliest Catch and  see how elated the dudes are when they get pot full of crab after a bunch of empty strings?
I might start cooking with wooden spoon I hear sea salts are all the rage.
the big yellow shovel well?
 It went on my key chain of course.
I found a Jewish Fireman's hat, a monster truck, a girly car, tailless burro and a toy gun.

How do I carry all this crap you may wonder?  Usually I wrap it up in my T-shirt
Today I found a perfectly good bucket
Almost  as abundant as shovels after Saturday night are lighters form all those glaucoma patients smoking them marijuana cigarettes.  They forget their lighters because they cant see from the glaucoma of course
Because of the drought I guess people are just tossing their watering cans into the ocean

That was an abrupt end.
Whatever I'm done

Monday, July 7, 2014

4th of July Holiday crap

Holiday weekend is over.  In the last there days I have gone for 5 runs on the beach.
Before I go on about all the wonderful crap I found, here is some important information I learned from the wall at the beach.
Scooby Doobie Doo  Loves YOU!
 4 working bic Lighters.  
I also found at least 8 rusted lighters that I threw away. 
 When I was a little kid I use to look forward to going to the beach with mom on the 5th of July. While she played volleyball I would scour the sand for unlit fireworks and lighters.
  Sadly I didn't find any fireworks but there is always tomorrow.
Of course I found shit ton of your standard variety shovels. 
(i found about 6 more that I gave away while running)
Plus a few fancy ones.

Shovel of the Day
I don't care if it's cracked it's still my favorite.  It's been awhile since I found one of theses
I found one of these stupid things. At first glance they are kind of cool but what are you supposed to do with it?  People look at me funny at the sauna when I use it to roll out my calves 
(true story)
It looks like wood trim is all the rage this year when it comes rakes.
I was pretty stoked to find the clover

What was the creepiest thing I found?
First I found the Baby on Board sign, which is weird thing to take to the beach don't you think? 
 then a few miles later I stubbed my toe on this creepy baby with it's head spun around backwards.
Does this mean I can now drive in the carpool lane?

Time for a game
Yes, I bet you didn't see that coming? No way were you gonna "Gotcha me"
  Now think of Uno color: blue, orange, green, yellow, red) and Number 0-9.  
You got it? I really want you to do this, 
so do it 
and don't forget what it was.

More on this at the end of the post.

Favorite thing I found
This Hotmetal harmonica.  I'm gonna get all the chicks once I learn to play it.
I found a couple guns
and even a grenade

But the most useful thing I found was 
This beauty and the Beast travel comb.  I would totally put this in my toiletry kit if I had a toiletry kit. 

Check out the before and after pics

What was your Uno number and Color?
If you picked Orange or 9 
I win.

The End
there is still another hour left of day light?

Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Triathlon Really?

The weather today was almost too good.  I knew the sand would be blistering hot so I decided to take my morning run a bit earlier than usual.
When I started smelling cooked bacon it was time to stop?
It was the smell of my feet burning GROSS but still less gross than what's in bacon
 First find almost buried in the sand was Garmin 110 watch.  I actually have one of these which I bought about 4 years and one button has fallen off.  I have a charger and will  put this to good use. maybe
Next up was a pair of goggles.  You know Batman wouldn't let them use his logo if they were not a quality product.

Now that I got a watch and goggles I began to joke with myself that all I needed was a bike and I'd be a triath-a -douche (that was uncalled for) I mean  Triathlete.  The chances of finding a bike were very slim and how the hell would I carry it if found one?

Less than 1/2 mile later
 I found my bike
Done with that story on to the other crap I found
 Ever since getting home from Boston I've been picking up plastic egg parts left over from Easter.  Most of the time they go straight in the trash but this one survived long enough for me to take this pic
 Shovels!  Of course, what did you expect?
Krypton replica? 
 Crab cutter. can somebody say vegan crab tostadas?
I made these for lunch when I got home
 Coconut really?
It was a pain in the ass to carry but it's only the third coconut I have ever found in the South Bay.

Currently it's 3:39 P.M. I'm about to head back down to the beach for run 
Number Two

 Life Is Good!